Steadily Erratic
by Flower of Paper
Summary: Tomo/Sakaki, take 2. Their relationship was like a broken chord—the notes weren't all played together, or in the right order, but they were there. Sort of. 18coda progress - 15/21.
1. prélude

**Steadily Erratic**  
An Azumanga Daioh _**fanfiction**_ by Flower of Paper

First of all, here's the basic details:

**Title:** Steadily Erratic  
**Author:** Flower of Paper  
**Themes:** 18coda, #1-21  
**Pairing:** Tomo/Sakaki  
**Rating:** PG  
**Disclaimer #1: **Azumanga Daioh is the exclusive property of Azuma Kiyohiko. All copyright belongs to him. No copyright infringement is intended or implied, and the author claims no profit from this work.  
** Disclaimer #2:** This fanfiction is not registered with the 18coda community. Therefore, this pairing is technically _not_ claimed, so if you wish to attempt this pairing as well, you are welcome to do so.  
**Summary:** Tomo/Sakaki. Their relationship was like a broken chord—the notes weren't all played together, or in the right order, but they were there. Sort of.

And a bit more explanation:

I'll admit, the idea of Tomo/Sakaki was at first conceived as a self-imposed challenge, to take the least likely pairing and somehow make it work. The result was the one-shot "Rhythm".

But as I considered the pairing further, it began to grow on me, especially since Sakaki has always been one of my favorites. So I decided to take my challenge further, and write a short story with this pairing.

Thus "Steadily Erratic" was born. It takes place well before "Rhythm", and is intended to provide a basis for a possible Tomo/Sakaki relationship.

Canon basis for this pairing:

1) Tomo and Kagura have a lot in common. So if Kagura/Sakaki, why not Tomo/Sakaki?

2) Tomo is quite jealous of Sakaki's breasts (though to be fair, she's jealous of Kagura's and Yomi's breasts as well), even going to far as to "accidentally" cop a feel on Sakaki by "tossing and turning in her sleep" during the group's first summer vacation.

I'm done rambling. Have fun!


	2. a cappella

**Steadily Erratic #1: a cappella**

a cappella (Italian: like a choir)  
_ one or more vocalists performing without an accompaniment_  
**alone**

She was the lone wolf, the "mysterious" girl. And Tomo had to have her.

Even though she didn't look like it, Tomo was always on the lookout for something new to explore. In her mind, she rationalized her endless curiosity as a way to make up for her relative lack of intelligence/motivation.

"I was born stupid, but at least I'm trying not to _stay_ stupid", she always told herself. Her fellow Bonklers felt the same way, and studied together often. Tomo was the leader, Kagura was the brawn, and Osaka was the brains. Well, it was a bit simplistic, but it fit.

Sakaki, however, was not a Bonkler. As a matter of fact, she was naturally intelligent, great at sports, and had quite the figure to boot! Yomi had all these wonderful qualities as well—even if she never believed in her own good looks—but Sakaki had one thing that Yomi didn't: that strong and silent Lone Ranger aspect, that seemingly cool aura, and most of all, that oh-so-subtle hint radiating from her, that at any moment she might one day—with no prior warning—vanish into the sunset, for reasons known only to herself.

When Sakaki stared out the window, what did she think of? Was she philosophizing? Fantasizing? Daydreaming? Imagining herself someplace far away?

Vanish...that was an interesting twist, Tomo mused. Such a word made it sound like Sakaki had a bit of the wandering spirit within her as well.

So there was something they possibly had in common: endless curiosity. Now all Tomo needed was a way to turn that maybe commonality into a definite plan.

In middle school, there were twin sisters in Tomo's class, named Yuki and Kimiko. The "ki" in both of their names meant "rare", and indeed they were rare in the sense of "unusual"—the twins had moved to Tokyo from Hakata, and talked like it too. Such thick southern-Japanese accents—no wonder Tomo reacted so strongly when Ayame (or was it Ayumi?) hailed from Osaka with that accent of hers.

An unusual accent attracted Tomo like a shiny coin attracts a cat. Sometimes she even wished she had an accent of her own.

But the point here is that Tomo had spent so much time pestering her best friend Yomi that she'd never really gotten to know Yuki or Kimiko, not until the last few weeks of middle school. By then, of course, it was too late. After middle school, the twin sisters moved back to Hakata, and that was the end of that. They simply vanished.

So in Tomo's mind, the twin sisters would forever remain the "mysterious transfer students"—emphasis on the "mysterious" part—who rode off into the sunset and were not seen again. Tomo was determined not to let that happen with Sakaki.

Time had never been an issue with Tomo before, but graduation was coming up in just a few weeks. She needed a plan, and fast, before high school ended and she lost this chance again.


	3. cadence

**Steadily Erratic #2: cadence**

cadence (Latin: falling)  
_a sequence of chords that brings an end to a phrase_  
**ending**

Regardless of this realization, Tomo knew that even she might have to slow down, to get this idea of hers to work. After school one Thursday afternoon, Tomo decided that she was going to make her move, before her chance slipped away. So she ran up to Sakaki (and by "slow down", that meant simply not running fast enough to tackle her) and waved at her.

"Sakaki-chan! Sakaki-chan!"

Sakaki turned around, and Tomo stopped in front of her. "Ah, hi, Tomo-chan."

_Dammit. Leave it to me to run up to her and then think of something to say._

"You know that translation that Yukari-chan assigned us for homework today?"

Sakaki nodded.

"I totally didn't get what she was talking about, so—heh-heh, do you mind if I study with you? Please? I'll do my own homework and not copy yours, I promise."

Saying this, Tomo flashed a winning smile.

"Well...I did understand the lesson, but Yomi-san's English is better than mine. Perhaps you should ask her—besides, she is your best friend, after all."

"But I do that every day! Even Yomi needs a break from me every once in a while."

"You two...you didn't have a fight, did you?"

"Wha—no, no! Well, I teased Yomi again today, but that's normal for us. I just figure, since you and I don't talk that much, we oughta change it up a bit, work together."

_Did I just outright tell her...Waugh! I was supposed to be more subtle about that!_

Sakaki smiled. "Sure."

Tomo grinned. "Yay! Thank you!"

So the two of them walked to Sakaki's house, where Sakaki showed Tomo to her room. Once there, Tomo looked round and round, amazed at the sheer volume of cuteness.

In the corner was a long tatami mat topped by a royal blue blanket that had a simple gold-colored trim. The desk and bookshelves held the usual schoolgirl fare, and on the nightstand was a selection of framed photos, mostly of Sakaki and her friends.

The shelves above...practically overflowed with stuffed animals of every shape and size. Tomo recognized a few from the arcade near the mall, but most were new to her.

_I knew Sakaki-chan was into cute stuff—especially that time Chiyo-suke dressed in the penguin suit and knocked us all down with her cuteness—but this is...whoa._

"Amazing" —Tomo breathed— "This place is...it's Stuffed-Animal City! Plushie Paradise! Mega-Cute Metropolis!"

Sakaki's face turned pinker and pinker.

"This doesn't fit with my image of you at all, Sakaki-chan!" Tomo gushed. "But for some reason, this is pretty cool too."

"Image?"

"Yeah, we've all got this image of you as being so cool and calm and—well, you're that too, but this is definitely a new side of you."

"Do I have a stern image?" The words were slow and measured.

Surprised by Sakaki's question, Tomo paused for a bit. "No, I wouldn't say 'stern', it's just—"

"A lot of people seem to think I do." Sakaki looked down at some spot on her wall across the room.

"Even you, Tomo-chan."


	4. canon

**Steadily Erratic #3: canon**

canon (Latin: measuring rod, rule, model)  
_a tune played at different speeds, backwards, or inverted_  
**twisted imitation**

"Even you, Tomo-chan."

_A stern image? Her? If anything, I'm the one with an image to keep up._

"I—I didn't—where would you get an idea like that?"

Sakaki looked up. Her eyes met Tomo's.

"I've seen the way you act around me. You're so playful, always trying to beat me in sports, loudly yelling about my—um—" —Sakaki automatically crossed her hands over her chest— "—but there's something different about the way you play with me, compared to the way you play with Yomi-san."

"I'm just a happy hyper playful person, Sakaki-chan! You know that!"

_At least, on the outside._

"I know that, but..."

"But what?"

"You're afraid of me, aren't you?"

_Me? Afraid of her? Honestly, she's the last person I'd be afraid of. Look at how she treats Chiyo-suke!_

Sakaki's shoulders sagged, and she continued. "I think I _do_ have a stern image, no matter how much I try to shed it. You're afraid of me, Tomo-chan. I know you mean well, but you constantly tease me, hoping deep down that one of these days I'll snap at you and show what a big bad lone wolf I am."

"Th-that's not true! No way!"

"But that's not me. Not at all." Having run out of steam, Sakaki crossed the room and seated herself on her long tatami mat.

_So tall and imposing...but that's just an image! An image!_

_Besides—_

"You've got an image of me too, you know." Tomo had a sudden idea, and ran with it. "Everybody seems to think I'm just some hyper, loud, stupid girl who gets her kicks from pissing people off."

Sakaki didn't say anything, because truth be told, that was indeed her (and most people's) image of Tomo.

"Yomi told me once that I should find something to devote my energy to. I was goofing off that day, so I said cheerleading, and she thought I was serious."

"Were you?"

"Of course not!"

"Tomo-chan, that's your—you can't goof off _all_ the time."

"What are you, my mom?"

Now it was Sakaki's turn to go on the defensive. "No, I just meant—well, Yomi-san was right, you really should find something to devote your energy to."

"_Meaning?_ Say, you've got lots of energy too, even if you don't let it all out like I do. What do you devote your energy to?"

Sakaki lay back on her tatami mat. Tomo moved next to her and pulled up a slice of floor.

"In the closet." Her voice was quiet, almost a murmur.

Tomo got back up, went to the closet, and opened the door. Inside the closet sat a small xylophone, with two mallets on top.

"I've always loved music." Sakaki spoke up from her bed. "It's always been so soothing, so comforting."

"Well, I wasn't expecting that from you. Being able to play music, I mean."

Saying this, Tomo faced the xylophone, admiring its simple beauty.

Sakaki sat up. "Of course not. Why would you? I'm just the big-breasted girl with the looks and brains, good at sports, who scares hyper girls like you."

"You don't scare me!"

"Tomo-chan, please don't challenge me in my own room. Calm down, I don't want to fight with you."

"I'm still not scared of you!"

Sakaki stood up to her full height, and stretched a pleading hand out to Tomo. "Please, Tomo-chan. What do I have to do, to convince you that your image of me is wrong, that I really don't scare you at all?"

In all this time, Tomo had not turned from the xylophone to face Sakaki. Meanwhile, she had to admit that she was a bit put off by Sakaki's height and aspect.

What _could_ she do to convince Sakaki and herself otherwise?

_Think, Tomo, think!_

Suddenly, the answer struck her. The answer was literally before her eyes.

Tomo turned and faced Sakaki. "Play me a song."


	5. dolce

**Steadily Erratic #4: dolce**

dolce (Italian: sweet)  
_played sweetly_  
**sweet, fluff**

Sakaki was a bit surprised by Tomo's sudden demand to "play her a song". But then again, she should've expected as much when she un-subtly-hinted towards the xylophone itself. C'est la vie.

Sakaki took a step forward, and looked down towards the xylophone, wondering which song she should play. A Japanese song, or a Western classical piece, or...?

"Why are you staring at me?"

Sakaki snapped out of her thoughts. Given her height, she should've been used to people thinking she was staring at_ them_, rather than at something else.

"I'm sorry, Tomo-chan. I was looking at the instrument, not you."

"All right, all right." Tomo stepped out of the way, and helped Sakaki lift her xylophone and set it in the middle of the floor.

Though she'd never been in Sakaki's room before, Tomo automatically plopped herself down in the swivel chair at Sakaki's desk and spun around a few times before settling down.

"So what are you gonna play?"

"There was a lovely performance of 'Tsurukame' on TV a few nights ago. Did you see it?"

"No, I'm at Yomi's house most nights." Tomo grinned, and Sakaki couldn't help but return the grin. Then Tomo realized what she said, and what it sounded like, and quickly followed up with a _"Hey, it's not what it sounds like!"_ and a _"who, me?"_ look. Both girls laughed, and the tension in the room dropped considerably.

"Have you ever heard it?"

"No, what is it?"

"It was a shamisen piece by Yamada Kousaku."

_Yamada? That's the company that makes those cool motorcycles...right?_

"Shamisen? That's that one instrument that looks like a guitar, right? But I thought you were gonna use that xylophone!"

Sakaki smiled. "I am. Same melody, different instrument. And I'm not going to play the whole thing, but there was one part in particular that I liked."

"OK, OK, I'm listening." Which was true.

Sakaki picked up the two mallets and began playing. The part she'd chosen was from about two-thirds of the way through the song. Her performance needed some work, both because of her inherent shyness and because she was completely self-taught, but it was a decent performance nonetheless.

When she finished, Sakaki stepped back from the xylophone, in order to not tower over Tomo.

Tomo paused, trying to collect her thoughts, then spoke. In true Tomo fashion, it came out as a semi-organized stream-of-consciousness ramble.

"It was pretty good, but not at a professional level. Not like I could do better, though. No wait—you're not a bad musician, it's just that I—well, the point is, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but for some reason I automatically thought you'd instantly be an expert at everything you try, so—I guess what I wanna say is, sorry for putting you on a pedestal."

Her thoughts bounced from one theme to another, just like the girl herself, but the basic message was there.

"It's all right, Tomo-chan." Sakaki smiled.

"Do your best, Sakaki-chan! Then you really _will_ be the best!"

Sakaki's face turned pink. "Thank you."


	6. fermata

**Steadily Erratic #5: fermata**

fermata (Italian: stopped)  
_an indication that a note is to be held or sustained_  
**goes on**

The next day was a Friday. It was the day before the weekend, and all the Azu-girls knew it, including Tomo. _Especially_ Tomo.

During PE class, Sakaki ended up competing with Kagura, who still wholeheartedly rivalized herself with Sakaki, and with Tomo, who still viewed Sakaki as a worthy opponent, but one whom she now knew a little better.

After a 100-meter dash (Nyamo's idea of winding down a PE class) in which Sakaki handily defeated Kagura and Tomo, and especially Chiyo and Osaka (who tried to carry Chiyo on her shoulders), the girls changed back into their normal clothes and went to class. On the way, Tomo casually threw her arm around Yomi's shoulder.

"Say, Yomi, I've got an idea."

"I hate it when you do that. Whenever you get an idea, something bad happens."

But Tomo knew Yomi's dry and slightly sarcastic sense of humor far too well to take offense at that comment. Yomi hadn't meant anything in particular by that comment, and Tomo knew it.

"Yeah, I know, which is why I get ideas. Just to annoy you, my best friend." She said "my best friend" in English.

"Uh-huh. So what's your idea?"

"We need to start a band."

Yomi glanced upwards as they continued walking. "A band, huh?" With her singing voice, and Tomo's energy, there'd be no limit to their fame!

"So there _are_ uses for your utter randomness."

"And we could call ourselves the _Roku_ (Six) _Rockers_ and stuff! Of course" —Tomo hyperly rambled— "we'd better find a place other than the microphone for you, otherwise the audience would pay us _not_ to perform."

"Don't insult my singing voice! Yomi Double Chop!"

_–bonk–_

"Ow! Hey, there's an idea, you could beat the drums like you beat me."

"_You_ can play the drums while _I_ burst into song."

"Yomi, if you burst into song, I think the only things bursting would be people's eardrums."

Yomi turned to Tomo with her evil mock-threatening grin. "Do you need another Yomi Double Chop?"

"No, ma'am."

Tomo was silent for a few seconds. Then: "How 'bout you play the drums, Sakaki-chan sings, I'll rock out on the guitar, and the ultra-cute Chiyo-chan can be the Petite Piper."

"Really. And what about Osaka-chan and Kagura-chan?"

"Um...Kagura-chan can have a guitar too, and we'll give Osaka-chan a set of drums or somethin'."

"Tomo, that's mean. You never know, Osaka-chan just might surprise us one of these days."

"Okay, have _you_ got any ideas?"

From there, the conversation eventually drifted off into other topics. Yomi didn't seem to notice why Tomo was suddenly interested in music, and Tomo didn't tell her about the night before.

In short, life went on as normal...right?

* * *

**Author's note:** By this point I've gotten a better idea of where I'd like this fic to go. In the meantime, you got a dose of Tomo/Yomi banter. Hope you liked it! 


	7. ostinato

**Steadily Erratic #6: ostinato**

ostinato (Italian: obstinate)  
_indicates a part that repeats the same rhythm or melody_  
**stubborn**

Later that Friday afternoon, the six girls were walking home from school, following their usual path. Typically, a different girl would lead the conversation each day, depending on what she felt like talking about.

There was no rhyme or reason or rhythm as to who led the conversation on a given day, or whether one of them would hold the floor at all. Their many conversations (some of which turned out to be quite thought-provoking) simply followed the natural order of things.

Today, it was Osaka's turn to be the leader. Whatever tune her lovely mind was dancing to, the other girls couldn't quite follow, but it was fun anyway. Her brain happily pulsated in her head as she explained her latest tangent: what would happen if all the girls were characters in a fight game.

"Um...Osaka-san, you know my pigtails are made of just normal hair, right? I mean, I can't _really_ drill holes with them, or violate the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, or—"

"Chiyo-chan, it's okay. She's just having fun, her way, don't get upset."

Saying this, Sakaki placed a reassuring hand on Chiyo's shoulder. Chiyo calmed down at this touch from her "big sister".

"Bwa-ha-ha! Did you hear that one, Kagura-chan?" Tomo laughed after hearing Osaka's decision regarding Kagura's attacks, especially "Speedy Eating" and "Soccer Slide".

"Yes, I heard, Tomo-chan, now knock it off. Besides, yours weren't much better. Though, in fairness, it's not like Osaka-chan gave herself cooler attacks than the rest of us, right?"

"Yeah...that's right! That's why us Bonklers gotta work together! Especially if we wanna have any hope of defeating Yomi's special attack...Eardrum Explosion! The bane of singers everywhere!"

Osaka piped up. "But I didn't think of that one..."

Yomi joined in. "Are you _still_ going on about that? Geez, you're stubborn, Tomo. Besides, your special attack isn't much better."

"Oh, come on, a headbutt can do lots of damage."

"To your _own_ head. I can't believe you're listening to Osaka-chan."

"Pfft. Whatever. You're just jealous 'cause you don't have my youthful energy and amazing looks."

"Tomo, none of us have used the old 'you're just jealous' line since we were kids. Anyway, you really ought to find something to pour that 'youthful energy' of yours into."

"Maybe I will!" Saying this, Tomo made the akanbe gesture in Yomi's general direction. Yomi was gracious enough not to react.

"Perhaps music."

At this, the girls stopped walking and turned to Sakaki, who had been silent this whole time.

Tomo was the first to react. "Music, huh?"

* * *

**Author's note:** The fight game referenced in this chapter is the AzuBrawl currently taking place. I am not involved in the collaboration, but wanted to throw in my two yen. 

**Cultural note:** If you don't know what the word "akanbe" means, please look it up at the Anime News Network's encyclopedia—they can explain it better than I.


	8. grave

**Steadily Erratic #7: grave**

grave (Latin: heavily)  
_slow and serious_  
**serious**

Friday night found Tomo in her own bedroom, seemingly a rare feat to anybody who knew her (especially Yomi).

_"Perhaps music."_

_"Music, huh?"_

Those four simple kanji—"多分音楽 / perhaps music" had somehow struck a chord within Tomo's mind.

"Man, today just went by way too fast."

Was her life racing by? Tomo always lived for the present, not often stopping to think about the future. But Sakaki's Thursday comment —_Yomi-san was right...something to devote your energy to_— and Yomi's Friday comment —_that 'youthful energy' of yours_— and now Sakaki's Friday comment —_perhaps music_— all reverberated in her head.

"Youthful energy..."

Tomo loved her youth. She knew that one day she wouldn't have it anymore, which was why she made the most of it while she had it.

"I figured I'd enjoy my youth 'til it was over...but now I'm 17. Pretty soon it really will be over, and I'll be an adult. ...Damn, I didn't realize it was so soon. It just sort of snuck up on me."

_Life. It's an adventure, right? Right?_

Hirano Aya would be proud if she heard Tomo using that line in such a context.

But lately, with her new knowledge of Sakaki, Tomo had been thinking about music more and more lately. Thematically she was a butterfly, fluttering from one theme to another.

When a butterfly moves to another flower, it carries pollen with it, thus allowing different flowers to cross-pollinate each other. Tomo liked to think that she did the same thing with her random obsessions, enriching each new one with the ones that came before it.

She remembered her last year of middle school, when the only one of the six that she knew, besides herself, was Yomi. Yomi hadn't thought Tomo could make it into this high school, and Tomo had worked her butt off just to prove her wrong.

And now—now, three years later, with more entrance exams looming—now was the moment of truth.

Could she do it again? Prove to the others that she could shine?

Tomo smacked her palm with her fist.

"Of course I can."

For the second time in as many weeks, Tomo entered her I've-got-a-plan mode. She practically bounced over to her computer, turned it on, and connected to the Internet.

The first thing she needed to do was research the latest thing that had caught her eye, to prove that she was sincere this time, to prove that she was worth something.

To that end, she connected to the Internet and clicked to her favorite search engine. Then she began typing...

* * *

**Author's note:** In "Rhythm", I mentioned that Sakaki made an offhand comment about music, which fueled Tomo's energy and determination. And in the last chapter that offhand comment made its appearance, and in this chapter it was brought out into the light! Yay! 

By the way, this chapter concludes the Tomo arc. The next chapter will begin the Kaorin arc. (Somebody other than her is beginning to show interest in Sakaki-san? Of course she'll have something to say about that!)

Don't worry though, Tomo's not going to disappear—she's too much fun to write for! See you next chapter!


	9. incidental music

**Steadily Erratic #8: incidental music**

incidental music  
_background music that serves to illustrate the main action_  
**unnoticed**

"Would you look at that?"

"Kaorin, this whole thing is just plain silly."

Nevertheless, Chihiro accepted the monocular that Kaorin passed to her.

"Why are we spending PE spying on Sakaki-san and her friends? Even if it _is_ just another bloody Monday. Come on, Kaorin, even you have to have some sort of limits."

Kaorin completely ignored that. "What's Sakaki-san doing with Tomo-san? And why's Tomo-san hanging around with Sakaki-san anyway? Shouldn't she be hanging around with—or should I say hanging from—Yomi-san?"

Ahh, teenage angst. The natural result of too many questions and not enough answers.

"Kaorin, you're the one who passed me the monocular. If you wanted to know that badly what they're up to, you should've kept it. Here." Chihiro passed it to Kaorin, who snatched it back and peered through it.

"She's—what are those two talking about?"

_Note to self: Must invest in long-range microphones._

"Kaorin, I just thought of something."

"What's that?"

"Have you noticed your language lately?"

"What's that supposed to mean? Are you trying to say I've been swearing lately? Trust me, one day I'll be swearing my love to Sakaki-san...yeah, one of these days."

_Not that I have a whole lot of days left. Graduation's coming the week after next...kyaaa!_

"You did it again."

"Did what again? Chihiro, don't play word-games with me."

"You said 'Sakaki-_san_'."

"So do you. Besides, you know exactly why I call her that."

"Yeah, but we call the _other_ girls _-san_ as well, because we barely know them. Face it, Kaorin, they barely know us. And if one of them catches us hiding in the bushes like this, they won't _want_ to know us."

_She's right. Those six wonderful girls—the most wonderful of all being Sakaki-san, of course—have their own group dynamic. We're not a part of that._

"You're right, Chihiro. Sakaki-san doesn't notice me. So, I'm going to have to fix that."

Chihiro turned to her best friend. "Kaorin, please don't get that look on your face. It worries me when you do that."

"Why?"

"Because...well, you...your plans are usually a bit on the extreme side."

"Meaning?"

"Like the time you let yourself be tied to Sakaki-san in the three-legged race. Or the time you conveniently arranged yourself so you just 'happened' to be paired with her at the folk dance. Or that one incident where—"

"All right, I get it! For cryin' out loud, Chihiro, who asked you to be my conscience?"

"You did. Back in middle school."

_...oh, yeah. I knew that._

"Which means all I have to do is come up with a reasonably sane plan to get Sakaki-san to notice me."

Chihiro sighed. She loved her best friend, but sometimes she was just _such_ a handful.

* * *

**Author's note:** Kaorin with a monocular, instead of her usual telescope? All the better to admire Sakaki-san with, of course! 

This chapter kicks off the Kaorin arc. (What's a romance without a third wheel, right?) In this fandom, people have strong opinions about Kaorin—they either love her or hate her. So I'd like to take this opportunity to reassure my readers that Kaorin will have a fighting chance in this story.


	10. nocturne

**Steadily Erratic #9: nocturne**

nocturne (French: at night)  
_ a quiet, lyrical piece with a pensive, dreamy mood_  
** alone at night**

It was Monday night. Mere hours ago, Kaorin had roped Chihiro into helping her spy on Sakaki and her friends, but now—at least for Chihiro—the day was over. Now it was night, the time when most of Japan was going to sleep.

But for Kaorin, the budding astronomer, the night was just beginning. Already the sun had set, and the moon was showing its platinum-tinted face.

Platinum...that was a nice change from the usual term "silvery", Kaorin mused.

It was a lovely March night, cool and with little wind. The grass was soft and cool under her bare feet.

In the backyard, she set up her telescope on its tripod, and glanced up at the darkening sky with her naked eye. What stars would show up tonight?

Tanabata's Vega and Altair would have easily fitted her current bout of teenage angst, but this was March, not July as the Tanabata story demanded. So she flicked open her booklet on the Chinese constellations, and turned to the Spring section.

In the Spring section of the booklet, she looked up the Azure Dragon and found the Heart constellation. Glancing upwards, there it was.

The constellation next to it was the Chamber constellation. Since the seven constellations of the Azure Dragon were meant to form a complete picture of that dragon, the Chamber constellation was sometimes taken as the dragon's great and noble breasts, in order to continue the Chinese astrographical metaphor.

"My heart, right next to Sakaki-san's breasts...ack! That sounded so silly! Just an elementary schoolgirl's fitting anything to her desire."

"But that _is_ my desire. To be with her. To be protected by her, my fierce dragon, she who will fend off all comers, all who dare to threaten our love."

"Still silly, though. Me, a seventeen-year-old aspiring astronomer, reading stars as if they really foretold the future."

"Asking the stars to intervene in our daily lives is like ants asking us humans to intervene in their daily lives."

Kaorin's motives were pure—she honestly believed this. The fact that she knew practically nothing about Sakaki—the supposed star for which Kaorin was always reaching—had apparently never crossed the younger girl's mind.

How do you reach somebody you don't know?

Other than obsessing and stalking, one couldn't really accuse Kaorin's fangirlish behavior of reaching extremes. At least, not yet.

"I've got to find a way to reach her. There's got to be some way to pierce that cool aura of hers, to touch the woman inside" —Kaorin blushed at the accidental innuendo— "some way to connect with her, right? Right?"

The only thing left to do was to find a way. For that, she would need the help of her ever-resourceful Chihiro.

And a trip to the claw game at the local mall.


	11. elegy

**Steadily Erratic #10: elegy**

elegy (Greek: song for the dead)  
_a song mourning the loss of a loved one_  
**loss**

Tuesday afternoon, immediately after school, Kaorin went to the local mall as she'd originally planned, and played that claw game. Having once seen Sakaki standing next to it with her hands behind her back, Kaorin guessed (in this case, correctly) that Sakaki had been hiding some sort of plushie that she'd just won from that game.

Hence, if Kaorin could just win a plushie from that game, and present it to Sakaki (hopefully without achieving the consistency of a bowl of flan), then maybe—just maybe—it could lead into something.

What exactly it could or would lead into, Kaorin didn't quite know—perhaps a conversation about plushies, or about something else, or even something as simple as a confession of love from one or both of them.

There was just one problem, though.

Kaorin—who shared some of Kagura's impulsiveness, though she didn't realize it—had not taken into account the fact that she completely _sucked_ at claw games.

After spending 450 yen at the same one over and over, trying to win that dolphin plushie—not any of the far more accessible plushies, it had to be _that_ one—she finally gave up.

So, with a determination that would have made Kagura proud, Kaorin found another way. She went to the local toy store, looked around until she found a suitably cute dolphin plushie ("for her cousin", she told the curious cashier), and walked away satisfied with her purchase.

Wednesday lunch period was the moment of truth. With trembling hands and a tremolo in her throat, Kaorin walked up to Sakaki before the taller girl had a chance to leave her desk.

"Sa-Sakaki-san?"

"Yes, Kaorin?"

_"Kaori-chan". One day. One day._

"Um—your birthday's coming up, isn't it?"

"Yes...how did you know?"

_She's right. How did I know?_

In actuality, Sakaki's birthday was two weeks prior, but she didn't say so, in order to avoid upsetting Kaorin (who, naturally, couldn't have known any better).

"It was in the student registry. So, ah, what zodiac sign are you?"

Sakaki paused for a moment, then said "Aries".

"Really? Wow, that's amazing!"

_What's amazing is that I'm actually having a conversation with Sakaki-san. A normal conversation!_

"Amazing...?"

"I mean, Aries and Cancer are three signs apart, and people who are born three signs apart are supposed to get along really well. Have you heard that?" Kaorin bubbled.

"Mm...no, I haven't. Sorry. The stars are lovely to look at, but I don't really know that much about them."

"Ah...that's okay!" Had Kaorin slowed down just a little, and not allowed herself to be fueled by nervous energy alone, she could have taught Sakaki a bit about stars, and gently eased into other conversational topics.

But being an instinctive Cancer, she held up the bag at her side, before she completely ran out of steam. "Anyway, I bought this for you, for your birthday. I know it's a bit early, but I didn't want to catch you in a bad mood while you're busy with your exams. How did you do, by the way?"

"It's okay."

_What's okay?_

"Just calm down, Kaorin. And...thank you for your gift." Sakaki smiled, just a little.

_She's smiling! She's smiling! I'm making her smile!_

Sakaki accepted the gift warmly, but Kaorin knew that she'd lost her chance to confess her love for Sakaki.

* * *

**Author's note:** Kaorin isn't an expert on astrology. But I did look up astrological interactions for Cancer/Aries (how Kaorin thinks they would interact) and Cancer/Pisces (how they would actually interact if they got together). 

But even with this loss, the Kaorin arc isn't quite finished yet. I didn't write her in just to throw her away—that's not my style. Onward!


	12. rubato

**Steadily Erratic #11: rubato**

rubato (Italian: stolen)  
_a direction to allow a play a measure of freedom_  
**no pressure, independence**

"What happened, Chihiro? Where did I go wrong?"

"I told you, just like I did when you asked me five minutes ago. When Sakaki-san said that she didn't know very much about stars, you should have started talking about stars. Even if all you did was talk about the Big Dipper, it would've given her something to answer."

"But I didn't want to bore her, rambling on and on about my favorite subject!"

Chihiro leaned back in her chair and forced her shoulders back, stretching out the muscles in her back and shoulders. Kaorin could hear one of the joints popping in Chihiro's neck, and Chihiro's barely-audible "ahh" of contentment. Kaorin did not notice, however, the way that this act pushed Chihiro's breasts out just a tiny bit, before Chihiro relaxed her muscles as if nothing had happened.

It was a stretch. Just a tiny bit. But she tried. Still, Chihiro knew that she would never measure up to Sakaki, neither in the literal nor in the metaphorical sense.

One-sided love is painful.

"But you never knew. Maybe she likes stars, but she's too shy to show it."

_I hadn't considered that._

"I know, I know, but—"

"Kaorin?"

"Yes?"

"As your best friend, I feel like I have to say this."

Kaorin narrowed her eyes. "If you're going to tell me that I royally screwed up, that I've lost my chance for good, then don't. I already know."

"Well, I was going to say that you shot yourself in the foot, because—"

"In other words, I never had a chance."

_But I'm trying, Chihiro, can't you see that? Can't you see how hard I'm trying?_

"It's like a game of golf. If you swing the club too hard, then the ball will go too far, and it'll miss the hole. But if you don't swing the club hard enough, then the ball never even had a chance. Know what I mean?"

"I think so." A look of "I got it!" appeared on Kaorin's face. "What you mean is, I just haven't been trying hard enough. I've got to do something that's sure to get Sakaki-san's attention!"

_Even if it's something stupid, it'll get the attention of Sakaki-san. That's what Chihiro wants, right?_

"No, no, it's...look, you think about Sakaki-san way too much. She's all we ever talk about, and...do you want to go to a movie?"

Kaorin paused for a moment, considering this.

_Have I really been neglecting Chihiro, all because of my love for Sakaki-san?_

She didn't say it, out loud or in her head, but in her heart—her well-intentioned but misguided heart—she knew the answer was yes.

"Sure, Chihiro." Chihiro perked up, visibly relieved by Kaorin's acceptance. "What movie do you want to see?"

* * *

**Author's note:** For another piece centred on the love triangle of one-sided Kaorin/Sakaki and one-sided Chihiro/Kaorin, please read "Love is Blind" by Silver Sailor Ganymede. 


	13. legato

**Steadily Erratic #12: legato**

legato (Italian: tied together)  
_a style in which the notes blend evenly with each other_  
**slipping away**

Thursday, the day after the plushie incident and Chihiro's invitation to a movie, held a cool and quiet evening, much like the Monday night that Kaorin had spent gazing at the stars.

_I love Sakaki-san, but I've got to be realistic. I'm always gazing at the stars, and my head is in the clouds—in more ways than one._

In choosing a movie, Chihiro had attempted to stay far, far away from love stories, in case Kaorin got it into her head to compare the heroine to herself or Sakaki-san.

But with the sheer quantity of love stories and love songs being produced these days (not necessarily a bad thing, simply the way of things) Chihiro decided to choose a story far removed from Japan, in the hope that Kaorin would simply enjoy the story on its own merits.

They were at the movie theater now.

" 'Piano Lesson'? What's that?"

"It's a really touching film about a Scottish woman who falls in love with a man in New Zealand. She doesn't talk, but she plays the piano quite well."

Chihiro didn't tell Kaorin that for many people (herself included) that movie could be a tearjerker. So Chihiro herself was formulating plans as well, but her plans differed from Kaorin's in that Chihiro's plans were more firmly grounded in reality.

Sakaki was the water, Kaorin was the air, and Chihiro was the earth. No matter how much the water and the earth were blown around by the wind, they always remained their basic selves.

Chihiro stepped up to the ticket window. "Two student tickets for Piano Lesson, please."

"Sure!"

They purchased some snacks and popcorn as well, and went to go find their seats. They chose a pair of seats near the back, and settled down to watch the movie.

Piano Lesson itself was quite good—she had chosen well. But the movie didn't quite go as Chihiro had expected it to. Both Kaorin and Chihiro noticed that some older girl in the front row (they couldn't get a decent look at her, only her long hair) cried throughout the movie, and even strong-willed Chihiro shed a few tears. The intent was to have Kaorin comfort Chihiro and thus take her mind off Sakaki for a while, but alas, that plan did not work.

After the movie was over, Kaorin and Chihiro left, and they never did find out who was in the front row.

"Ahh, that movie was sad, but sweet at the same time. Thank you for taking me!"

Chihiro smiled and wiped the last of her tears from her face. "You're welcome. Anytime, Kaorin."

* * *

**Author's note:** "Piano Lesson" is the Japanese version of the internationally co-produced film "The Piano". (Débuted 1993, genres romance/drama, rated R.) 

I have seen "The Piano", and wholeheartedly recommend it. However, it's not crucial to understanding "Steadily Erratic".


	14. sempre

**Steadily Erratic #13: sempre**

sempre (Italian: always)  
_in the same manner throughout_  
**doesn't change**

The next day was Friday. School-wise, it was the end of one of the more up-and-down weeks of Kaorin's life. This week, she'd spied on Sakaki, executed a plan (one that, although well-intentioned, ended in failure), and seen a sad movie with her best friend.

And now?

If Kaorin's life read like sheet music, then she had hit a repeat sign, and she was back to Monday, spying on Sakaki and her friends. Just a "da capo" taking her back to the beginning of Monday (the first day of the Kaorin arc).

This time, there were differences. Chihiro was not there, having gone home early with a promise to call Kaorin later, and the setting was different. This time, it was a park bench across from a karaoke café, and after school instead of during PE.

Variation on a theme.

_I have got to snap out of this obsessive funk. They say that insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting different results._

_But I'm not insane! A girl loving another girl is not insane!_

Across the street, the girls were chatting happily.

"Wow, Yomi, I'm impressed! Your score was actually higher than the temperature today!"

"Shut up Tomo!"

"Yomi-san, Tomo-san, please don't fight!"

Sakaki said something. Kaorin didn't hear what, but it sounded something like one of Tamaki Nami's songs.

"Sakaki, I challenge you!"

Sakaki turned to Kagura and said something. Kagura laughed and replied "Because I'm hungry and don't have any money, that's why!"

_Their lives are going on, in pretty much the same way they do every time I spy on them. Their lives don't change any more than my life._

_So, why do I insist on getting stuck on this passage? Same song, different verse._

Tomo made a comment about how Kagura's breasts weren't going to help her win, to which Kagura replied "what's that supposed to mean" and Osaka said something that Kaorin didn't hear. Whatever Osaka said, though, apparently was quite funny, because it made Tomo laugh even harder.

_Look at them. Chihiro was right, they're part of a close-knit group, and neither Chihiro nor I are a part of it._

_And why do you want to be with her? Is it her, or your image of her?_

_Are you scared, Kaorin? Deep down, are you afraid to join the group, afraid of what Sakaki-san might really think of you?_

Once the question entered her mind—"are you scared"—it quickly latched on, entering its own repeat section...

_Are you scared..._

_Are you scared..._

_Are you scared, Kaorin..._

_Are you scared?_

"No." Kaorin drew in a breath. "No, I'm not scared."

_Then prove it._

* * *

**Author's note:** Sakaki was quietly singing "Heroine" by Tamaki Nami, but Kaorin couldn't hear it. That is the background music for this chapter. 

Is Kaorin finally ready to give up, or will she find the strength for one more go? Stay tuned!


	15. vivace

**Steadily Erratic #14: vivace**

vivace (Italian: lively)  
_to play a piece in a fast, lively tempo_  
**too fast**

It was Saturday night, and Kaorin was outside in her backyard, gazing at the stars once again. The weather was still the same, a tranquil March night. Idly Kaorin noted that compared to yesterday, the average temperature had risen by two degrees today...nature's way of giving advance warning that spring was coming in about two weeks.

Spring...the warmth and rebirth of the earth, in tangible form. The time when the earth gently sloughed off its wintry garments and prepared to embrace the sun once again.

Spring was also a perfect time for young couples to go on romantic strolls in the park.

_Yes. This spring I'll finally get the courage to...no, wait. That won't work._

Because in two weeks there was not only spring, but graduation. And when that happened, Sakaki and her friends would be gone from Kaorin's life, most likely forever. She didn't think they would keep in touch with her, since they barely knew her.

_Face it, Kaorin. Sakaki-san never knew you, and she never will. Chihiro was right._

_The time has simply gone way too fast, Kaorin. And now your time is up._

Kaorin was observing the Azure Dragon again. She had chosen a detailed study of the Azure Dragon as her end-of-the-year project for the Astronomy Club. Every night she'd charted the relative positions of the stars, supplemented by her own thoughts and musings. She was really quite good at it.

She stood up from her telescope and addressed the stars directly.

"Azure Dragon...the culmination of everything I've learned in the Astronomy Club. The stars that blanket my dreams at night, for them I've worked hard for three years. The Astronomy Club...the only thing I love more than even Sakaki-san."

"And this Azure Dragon...is this the end? What happens after this?"

The obvious (to her) answer came up right away: the Vermilion Bird. It's admittedly a bit obscure, and therefore not something that would comfort most people, but Kaorin wasn't most people.

"The Azure Dragon of Spring, and the Vermilion Bird of Summer, and so on, and so forth, and the Azure Dragon again next spring."

"Everything goes around in circles. I can't give up now. Maybe one day I'll fall in love again. And when that happens, maybe one day I won't be too shy to admit it."

A single tear formed in the corner of Kaorin's right eye. She didn't avert her gaze from her beloved stars.

"But can I...can I really live without Sakaki-san?"

_That's not even a question. I don't have a choice._

Kaorin's breath hitched. In her mind, she counted to ten to calm herself down.

"Yes." The single tear slid down Kaorin's cheek. "I'll always treasure my memories of her. Even if she never knew. But yes, I must go on."

"One day...I will find love again."

* * *

**Author's note:** With this chapter I conclude the Kaorin arc. And breathe a sigh of relief. 

One more arc coming up—before you turn the virtual page, can you guess whose arc it is?

Hint: ternary form.


	16. senza

**Steadily Erratic #15: senza**

senza (Italian: without)  
_without_  
**lost without / can't do without**

The events of the week before last had shaken Sakaki, although outwardly she didn't show it. Tomo had taken a sudden interest in music after hearing one of Sakaki's performances on her xylophone.

At least the week following it (now last week) was somewhat more "normal", or as normal as six oddballs like them could ever get.

Tomo and Yomi bickered endlessly, as they always did. Osaka never stopped thinking with that beautiful mind of hers, and Chiyo continued trying to rearrange Osaka's tangential thoughts into something that most humans could understand. Kagura kept challenging Sakaki to contests (some of which Sakaki won, others Sakaki lost). Perhaps it was that thrill of not knowing that kept Kagura coming back.

In short, life went on. It always does.

At times Sakaki felt like they were being watched, but that was only the previous week. This week she hadn't had that feeling.

She had, however, had the feeling that Tomo was slowly becoming more interested in her. Perhaps it was the music, or something more...? She didn't know, and she wasn't sure if Tomo knew either.

Sakaki did like Tomo's energy and spirit—and, she had to admit, the possibility of even a little of that spirit being injected into Sakaki's music was quite intriguing—but she chose not to say anything. She didn't know how Yomi would take it if Tomo were to "stray" from her to her.

_Stray...no, that's not the right word. That word makes Tomo-chan sound like a lost puppy, barking and yapping from one embracing owner to the next. But Tomo-chan's pretty loyal. She wouldn't do that._

Well then, what _would_ Tomo do? It was that sudden jolt of unpredictability that made their friendship fun.

_Maybe she is just taking a "break" from Yomi-san, like she said two weeks ago. Perhaps I'm just reading too much into this._

The obvious thing to do would've been to speak directly to Tomo, to find out what the hyper girl was thinking, before making a rash decision. But that in itself would have been a rash decision, so Sakaki decided to talk to Yomi instead and see if Tomo really did have any feelings for Sakaki.

That night (Monday) she took out her xylophone and played it for a while. Her mood had always influenced her playing, and tonight was no exception. She remembered Tomo's laughing and boisterous comments during the girls' walk home today, her spirited laugh, the one that put a little andante in the xylophone tonight.

* * *

**Author's note:** Welcome to the Sakaki arc, the third and final arc of this project! First impulsive Tomo kicked off the idea in the first place, resulting in the Tomo arc. Then stubborn Kaorin reacted to Tomo's sudden closeness with Sakaki, and ended up confronting her own feelings in the process, which was the Kaorin arc. 

And now, we find out how Sakaki herself feels about this whole thing, in the Sakaki arc.


End file.
